Everyone in this world has his or her opinion about open relationships. Eighty percent of who thinks it’s a bad idea and could never work. The most interesting part about that is, eighty percent of those who think open relationships are bad, have never been in an open relationship, and their views are purely based upon what they have been socialized to believe. Not facts.
The real truth is, the divorce or break-up rate of open relationships, is no higher than the break-up rate of monogamous relationships. Some think open-relationships are not real because they are not a “committed relationship.” That statement makes no sense whatsoever as commitment is used in a very general sense and you are talking about individuals. What does commitment mean? What are you committed to? Each person has their own commitments to their family, career and social life. I did not choose my career path based on what my neighbors were doing. The same way each person has their own commitments to their relationships, or they should. My commitment to my relationship is living life to the fullest with my partner, sharing everything there is to share and enjoy, as long as it is of mutual interest to us both. Being in an open relationship for me is being open to listening to any conversation, interest of desire my partner may want to share.
This level of openness keeps an ongoing, healthy line of communication between us. There is an overwhelming stream of honesty in our relationship, with both of us knowing that we can share whatever thoughts and fantasies we have with each other, without worrying about how the other may react. The number one reason for break-ups is lack of proper communication. Being in open relationship forces you to constantly communicate. Those who are against open-relationships are hiding behind their need to look good to their neighbors, while they sneak behind their partners back, lying cheating and lusting with every opportunity they get.
This is not to say that everyone in a monogamous relationship is a liar and a luster, if you are that rare human being that your sexual interest and natural desires are only limited to one person, then that is who you are. Monogamy works for you, but your relationship will still only work if your partner has a similar interest. Any relationship with suppressed feelings and desires will inevitably fail. If I was being totally honest, I see way more miserable monogamous couples than I see miserable couples in an open relationship.
Being monogamous was not a choice that was made freely and willingly. It is a program that was written and installed in our brains by those in society who wish to control and manipulate and claim they are following the book of what’s right and what’s wrong. The same people who are ok with building nuclear bombs that can eradicate nations; the same people who are ok with driving past a homeless person in their Ferrari, the same people who constantly cast judgment on those who are not living life according to their ideals.
The same rules apply for all relationships. A relationship will only work if both parties are relatable. Being in an open relationship will not work for you if it is one partners desire to be selfish and use it as an opportunity satisfy those selfish needs. As a matter of fact, being in a successful open relationship takes one hundred percent self-less-ness, where both parties get true satisfaction from helping their partner fulfill a fantasy.
If you are a monogamous believer, and you can read this article and honestly say that you have never had the desire to experience something other than the conventional sex you share your partner, then monogamy works for you. If you have however had those fantasies and you have kept them from your partner, you are a liar and a hypocrite if you cast judgment on those in open relationships.
What monogamous couples don’t get, is sex and love are not related. I can have sex with a million people and not love them, and I am totally cable of loving somebody I have never had sex with.
Sex is purely a physical act, the ultimate gift from God to humans that creates life and pleasure. Couples in an open relationship embrace sex and sexuality, we embrace the many pleasurable experiences that sex has to offer, and we share and enjoy those experiences. The same urges that monogamous couples have but chooses to suppress because looking good means more to them than being real.
Who are you to judge?