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Meet the scientist swingers who teach sex classes

19-11-2017

  • Bradford and Angela sought out open relationships after their marriages ended
  • They found a perfect match in each other and left North Carolina for Sydney
  • Have been open about their swinger lifestyle with friends from the beginning
  • Identify as 'socio-sexuals' who seek out deep connections - not one-night stands
  • Teach adult sex classes - from flirting to G-spots - that include demonstration

By Anneta Konstantinides For Daily Mail Australia

When Bradford Atom first told his future wife Angela he wanted to make their relationship more serious, he had to add an important preface.



'I said, "What we have is really special. I think we should make this something a little more permanent. But I think we should still see other people,'" he recalled.

And, as Bradford held his breath, waiting for Angela's response, she let out a relieved exhale.
 
'Oh, thank god,' she replied. 'I thought you wanted to be monogamous.'

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Less than a year later they tied the knot on top of a canyon outside of Las Vegas, and now Bradford and Angela are happily living in Sydney as swingers.


Bradford and Angela Atom are scientists living in Sydney who just happen to be swingers

Both Bradford, 39, and Angela, 38, had been in long monogamous marriages before they met, and wanted to pursue open relationships when they began dating again

Bradford, 39, and Angela, 38, had both been in long monogamous marriages before they met, and individually reached the conclusion that it just wasn't right for them.



'Once we were single again and looking into other relationships, it just didn't feel right,' Angela told Daily Mail Australia.

'We wanted to be together, we just wanted to see other people as well.'

'We knew we were good for each other and with each other, but we knew we wanted something more than just each other,' Bradford added.  

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The North Carolina scientists, who met at work five years ago, found a perfect match in the other, tying the knot less than a year after they decided to become serious.

They then moved to Sydney after Bradford got a job offer, and decided they would be open about their lifestyle with their new friends from the start.

'When we moved here we didn't know anybody and had to build a community around ourselves. So we made a conscious decision that we're not going to hide who we are or what we do,' Angela said.

'We wanted to surround ourselves with positive people who were like-minded, we didn't hide anything and that made everything a lot easier.'




And the couple found that their lifestyle was accepted far more in Australia compared to their conservative community in the southeast US.

'In Australia, if they're interested, they ask questions. If they're not and it doesn't affect them, they don't persecute. They don't judge,' Bradford said.

Bradford and Angela, who are both bisexual, more often see couples together, but they will sometimes see other partners individually as well.

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But they are adamant that their lifestyle is not just about sex, but rather forming intimate connections.

Both Bradford and Angela call themselves 'socio-sexuals', meaning they enjoy deeper relationships with people.

'It means we're turned on by people who can engage us in clever conversations, a sense of humour, who enjoy similar things that we like to do,' Bradford said.

'It's definitely a "friends with benefits" thing, we categorise all our friends as "pants on" and "pants off". A "pants off" friendship is a socio-sexual thing.'

'We're not looking to hook up and have sex with random people,' Angela added. 'We're looking for deeper relationships.'


Both Bradford and Angela call themselves 'socio-sexuals', meaning they enjoy deeper relationships with people and search for more than just one-night stands     

Bradford and Angela said swinging has brought their own relationship even closer, as they feel comfortable telling each other anything and everything.

'We don't have to hide anything, we can be completely open in our discussions and behaviour,' Angela said. 'There's nothing I can't talk to him about.'

'We don't have to hide anything, we can be completely open in our discussions and behaviour. There's nothing I can't talk to him about.'

And it is this openness that the couple credits with protecting them from fights or fits of jealousy.


'We've always had very open communication,' Bradford said. 'Rules have been broken, and we have discussions over those rules and about amending the rules.'

One of the big rules is that neither person can bring somebody home while the other is out of town if they're not already in an established relationship with them.

'No one-time hook-ups, that's one that always sticks with me. You don't meet someone at a bar and immediately bring them home,' Bradford said.

The couple don't necessarily have to meet someone before their partner sleeps with them either, although that tends to happen away.

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'Typically if one of us is seeing someone separately, the other will know a lot about them. We talk a lot about them,' Angela explained.


Although neither Bradford or Angela ever plan to be monogamous again, they do value each other above their other partners


'No matter who I'm with, I'm coming back to Angela,' Bradford said.

'I so appreciate the relationship that we have. No one has topped her, no one has been a better fit for me both physically and emotionally.'


And Bradford said he never worries that Angela may find someone she loves more than him, or vice versa.

'We're both scientists, and we know the only constant in the world is change. Am I afraid of it? No,' he said.

'I hope it won't happen, but I'm not the greatest person out there - I'm sure there's better looking, smarter, richer people - but I can say I have never had a relationship that I value more than ours.'

Although the couple know monogamy isn't for everyone, they do have some tips for those who are considering the swinger lifestyle.

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Bradford suggests that if you've been thinking about an open relationship for a long time, but haven't told your partner, it is essential to give them time to think it over.

'Give them time to acclimate with the idea and mull it over,' he said. 'They may become immediately defensive, and you don't want to start a fight before you realise what you're talking about.'

He also recommends watching porn and reading erotica together to help 'bind the relationship' and gently suggest trying new things with your partner.

Angela advises figuring out together with your partner which is the best way to dip your toes into the swinging world, whether its clubs, meetups, or just going online and having a sexy chat session with strangers.


'Make sure you're approaching it in a good way for both of you,' she said.

'It's hard for people to figure out what a good relationship looks like, how to spice it up, and how to get the most out of it.'

The couple are also spreading their advice via a podcast and adult sexual education classes that they do in addition to their full-time jobs.

Bradford was inspired to launch the weekly By the Bi podcast to help others after years of struggling with his own bisexuality

The Swinger Manual


And the couple wanted to launch their series Sex Ed in the City, held at the club Our Secret Spot with MisJis, to help fill the void of sexual education for adults.

'There's a lot of things you're not taught in school, and porn doesn't really show you the reality of sex and relationships,' Angela said.

'It's hard for people to figure out what a good relationship looks like, how to spice it up, and how to get the most out of it.'



Classes range from the art of flirtation and Swinging 101 to erotic massage, clitoral and g-spot stimulation, and fantasy and BDSM play.

They also lead demonstrations of the techniques, in which both of them are often naked, but the couple have never demonstrated vaginal intercourse.

There is one class, though, where you can learn 15 different ways to give a handjob.

'There's at least one you definitely haven't tried,' Bradford said, 'I promise.'  

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